How to spot a fake friend? ways to find out –
According to Wikipedia, a ‘Frenemy’ is an oxymoron and a portmanteau of “friend” and “enemy” that directs to someone with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or feud or a person who combines the characteristics of a friend and an enemy.
Spotting a frenemy in someone’s life is easy but in our own life, it’s hard. This article is going to help you sort out the frenemies in your life.
Your friend is happy when you’re unhappy
Isn’t a friend meant to grieve with you when you are grieving? why should your friend be happy when you are unhappy? If your friend is happy when you are unhappy then that is a frenemy right there.
When something good happens and they are not there, but always hang around when you are miserable.
They’re always asking for favors
Asking for favors from a friend isn’t bad, but constantly doing that or just appearing when they want favors and disappearing afterward just to appear for the next one, simply means they are not your friends but are there just because you are beneficial to them.
A frenemy shares too much
They always tell you to feel free to share anything and go ahead to share everything about them just to make you feel comfortable and open up about your secrets, you should be wary and tactful about such people, they have intentions to get your secrets about you.
You might see this as them being sweet but trust me most of the secrets shared aren’t even true, they will just gain your trust that’s all.
Frenemies love to play devil’s advocate
They never agree with you, but rather the opposing side, they never believe in you or believe in the good side of your plans, rather they’d list 100 reasons why it is such a bad idea, and discourage you from everything you want to do, they never support you whereas real friends does.
True friends will always genuinely compliment you, and won’t criticize you, but frenemies will disgrace and talk down at you publicly, when they compliment they compliment half-heartedly with a touch of criticism, true friends will never make you feel awkward after a compliment but frenemies will.
They talk behind your back
You always hear stuff about you that nobody knows except your friend and always deny it when you confront them, but at the end of the day you realize it was them, then that is a frenemy. A true friend will never break your trust and tell stuff about you to other people especially embarrassing ones,
A frenemy will humorously insult you
When they insult you they make it sound like a joke, and you laugh and feel embarrassed at the same time, of course, true friends make jokes too but you just know that is the way it is between you guys, and they don’t make jokes that makes you feel inferior or do it constantly. a frenemy would even go as far as doing it in front of other people just to get them to laugh at you.
They almost always have an ulterior motive
They always have a motive, there is always what they are telling you to do, like don’t trust this person, link me up with this person, etc
You just feel when you are with them, that they have a motive always.
Digging up dirt
A true friend leaves your past behind because obviously, it’s in the past, frenemies will dig up every dirt they can about you and threaten you with it, tell it to people, or blackmail you. They might even go as far as telling it to your new partner just to see you miserable.
When I say passive-aggressive I mean they have they have inner anger and resentment towards you that they just don’t say to you rather they emotionally drain you in that you begin to question yourself, now you don’t want to do that to yourself.
Frenemies are often over-dramatic when accused
Have you ever called out someone and they just brought the whole world down trying to defend themselves and at the end of the day blamed you for everything? if yes, something is not right. A true friend will take it in slowly and try to solve things amicably, take the blame when needed, and call you out on your own side.
If you have a friend who ticks all the boxes then it is time to let go, they don’t care about you and are surely not your friend.
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