When Your Friend Cheats & Wants Your Advice –
What will you do when a friend tells you a huge secret that they are cheating on their spouse? what will you do if the partner turns out to be an opposite-sex friend of yours/ are you caught between did your friend ask for advice and you don’t know what to say? this article is for you.
Listen to your friend
The first thing to do is to listen to your friend first, don’t interrupt, and allow your friend to say everything, and also most importantly be actually listening to them and not just pretending to cause only then you’d know what to say.
Admit that you’re a little uncomfortable
After listening to your friend you should be honest if you are comfortable or not, you don’t have to blame yourself for feeling uncomfortable.
If you were speechless it’s not your fault because in reality you were going through a rollercoaster of emotions and couldn’t find the right words to say, you should take a moment to know what to say before the wrong words fly out, and if it did out of impulse you could just apologize.
Don’t make it personal
You don’t have to make it personal and let it affect your friendship and also don’t be so judgy from your own point of view, try to understand and make your friend feel like this is all about you by saying you are disappointed and all the personal
Speak to your friend
You have to understand your friend and their reason behind the infidelity, there is no reason whatsoever for cheating on a partner but if you feel it was a valid reason you know what to say from there.
When your friend asks you what your opinion is about the issue, you should sound as honest as you can without sounding judgemental, at the end you should also ask how they feel.
Ask your friend questions to understand what they need
You should know that your friend shared this with you knowing fully well they want something and that will only be possible by giving them room to ask, the cheating isn’t about you so you are very much right to exercise compassionate curiosity, asking your friend questions will help them know what to do, why they did it and their next line of action. If they want to hide it no more and tell the partner you can figure out the best approaches to use.
Draw your boundaries
It is okay to draw your boundaries, it doesn’t mean you won’t or aren’t supporting your friend your beliefs and religions might be why you drew your boundaries, It is also okay to tell them what you want or won’t do like lying to the partner but do it as calmly, sensitively and respectfully as you can.
Encourage your friend to think about his or her actions
You should encourage your friend to do this and make them see the bad in their actions, you should make them be in the shoes for them to have remorse especially if your friend isn’t the remorseful type.
Acknowledge that she/he is still a good person
Irrespective of the fact that your friend cheated that doesn’t make them a bad person, yes they cheated. your friend didn’t wake up and just decide to hurt the partner unless they did. Be wary as to not let your mindset about your friend wander from good to bad and always put them in your prayers so as to not see them in a bad light.
You should know everyone isn’t perfect and you might actually be in the shoes next, do this with caution and handle as much as you can without overdoing it.
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